Life Satisfaction: The Modern Approach
By Bill Benson · April 1, 2023
Life Satisfaction is an elusive pursuit in today’s culture, where the constant desire for more keeps us trapped in a never-ending cycle (Diener, 2000). It’s a spiral driven by emotions, where we convince ourselves that we will only be truly happy, enriched, or fulfilled once we achieve “just one more thing.” However, this mindset leaves us stagnant, constantly yearning for something more before allowing ourselves to feel satisfied and content. So, how can we break free from this pattern and find greater Life Satisfaction?
Life Satisfaction Is Not in Our Nature
We can look to our evolutionary nature to understand why we fall into this trap. Human evolution endowed us with brains capable of prediction and reflection. Our minds gather information, shape it into ideas, and then use those ideas to form intentions and take action. This intellectual process served us well in the past as we created systems to fulfill our physical needs and build civilizations.
However, as many of our physical needs have been met in modern times, our mental focus has shifted toward personal challenges. Rather than striving for survival, we now ponder the emotional gap between where we are and where we want to be. Ironically, the very thinking process that helped us thrive in the physical realm now hinders our psychological well-being and Life Satisfaction.
Flash-Forward
Our emotional lives suffer as our ancient instincts compel us to constantly prove, defend, promote, and protect ourselves in pursuit of stability and abundance. This mindset, known as Performance Orientation, revolves around seeking external emotional rewards such as recognition or status. It leads to stress and anxiety as we feel pressured to meet the expectations of others and achieve success at any cost (Elliot & Church, 2003).
Me, Myself & I
To determine if you are operating from a performance orientation, reflect on your level of Life Satisfaction. For example, do you find negative self-talk to be unavoidable? Do you constantly crave attention? Do you meticulously plan and rehearse social interactions to control the outcome? If so, it is likely that your ancient brain is influencing your actions, and it may be time to update your thinking.
Mastery Orientation & Life Satisfaction
Shifting our mindset from performance orientation to mastery orientation is the key to unlocking greater Life Satisfaction. Psychologists have long studied the concept of Mastery Orientation, which involves the intrinsically motivated development of skills and knowledge. It entails setting challenging yet attainable goals and embracing a Growth Mindset, believing that abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication (Dweck, 2006).
To make this shift, start by examining your motivations and goals. For example, are you pursuing activities because you genuinely enjoy them and want to grow in those areas? Or are you doing them to impress others and seek external validation? Authentic reflection can guide you towards pursuits that align with your values and interests, fostering personal growth and increasing Life Satisfaction.
An Educational Mirror
In this journey, it is crucial to prioritize personal growth and development over external rewards or acknowledgment. Consistency in engaging with activities that bring you joy and help you expand your knowledge and skills will lead to a deeper understanding and expertise. As you become a sought-after resource in your areas of interest, your Life Satisfaction will naturally grow.
Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who encourage your personal growth is essential. Seek out like-minded communities or mentors who can offer guidance and support along the way. Their presence will create a positive environment that nurtures your development and enhances your Life Satisfaction.
Masters of a Collective and Satisfied Universe
In conclusion, shifting from a performance orientation to a mastery orientation is vital for greater Life Satisfaction. We can find fulfillment and well-being by focusing on personal growth and development rather than seeking external validation or status. Embrace a growth mindset, prioritize internal rewards, and cultivate a genuine passion for learning and growth. Ultimately, by updating our mindset, we can unlock the true potential for Life Satisfaction in all areas of our journeys.
References:
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.
Elliot, A. J., & Church, M. A. (2003). A hierarchical model of approach and avoidance achievement motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 717–727.