How Gratitude Makes a Life
By Bill Benson · March 13, 2021
Have you ever unloaded clothes from the washer and been frustrated with how tangled they’ve become? For many, “the 2020s” feel like an overloaded machine with twisted contents: we start our days with clear intentions but then surrounding agitation occurs, yielding unexpected results. I’ve found that the best way to remain “wrinkle-free” in all this chaos is through conscious mindset management.
Choosing a positive perspective isn’t naive and doesn’t involve living in denial. Below is a method for sorting through life with grace and gratitude despite all the tumbling. May you stay “well-pressed” during these pressing times.
In The New York Times this morning, something important caught my eye – an article about the benefits of writing gratitude letters, so I’d like to pass along a few ideas. Letter writing is an excellent therapeutic tool: Over my years as a psychotherapist, I’ve suggested clients capture their thoughts and feelings by putting pen to paper. Writing these sentences can uncover inner feelings and help develop clarity and resolve.
Sharing is Caring
It’s not just the transcribing process that’s therapeutic. Sharing what’s written can super-size the positive effect of this exercise. Something in the process sparks an all-encompassing positive impact for both writer and receiver.
During recent research, a selection of participants created letters expressing gratitude to others. In contrast, another group wrote about their deepest thoughts and feelings about stressful experiences. Findings showed that the gratitude-based authors reported significantly better mental health after several weeks than those writing only about their inner lives.
You Mean the World to Me
So, with this in mind, I’m posting this gratitude letter to all of you – the consistent and occasional readers of The Mental Gym’s monthly newsletter for the last 15+ years. I’ve learned a lot from you. This admission may seem strange, as my articles intend to target your emotional growth. Yet, the process and discipline of writing over the years have helped me better my self-understanding as a clinician, friend, husband, and citizen.
I’ve also evolved because of you. I’ve shared a chuckle with clients more than once, admitting, “I’ve been in therapy 20-hours a week for over two decades.” Our shared in-session conversations weave and pivot but always illuminate. The adage “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” comes to mind because all participants benefit.
Life’s Spin Cycle
As the traumatic COVID fog begins to dissipate and reconnection becomes increasingly possible, let’s practice sharing the best of our humanity. Tap the shoulder of someone who has touched your life and let them know their positive impact. Until then, try sending a virtual hug in a handwritten note or thoughtful email. It can lift the spirits of those around you and bolster your morale.
So, I’ll close with a heartfelt “Thank you.” You’ve made a positive difference in my life, and for that, I am grateful.