Changing Perspective: How to Live More Effectively by Managing Distracted Thinking
By Bill Benson · Nov 7, 2022
Lost in thought, we’ve all sped past intended freeway exits or needed to reread paragraphs due to daydreaming. Paying attention can be challenging, while changing perspective is nearly impossible.
We all deal with distractions every day. These interruptions are both external and internal. For example, something can catch our eye (external) and send us off course, or insipid thinking (internal) can keep us from focusing on what’s appropriate.
Shifting perspective to focus on what’s unfolding can only benefit us: positively affecting our interactions and ultimately impacting our view of life – but how can we keep our minds on track?
From A to Zzzzzzzz
For me, quieting my brain at bedtime can be daunting. One recent morning, after failing to turn off my mind (which impacted my sleep), I sought to regain mental clarity by taking a hike. My meditative goal was to refocus my attention outside of my thoughts instead of repeating the unproductive loop still echoing within from the night before.
Fortunately, I live a stone’s throw from a wilderness area with public trails. Within minutes, I was surrendering my inner dialog to the natural surroundings and relieving myself by focusing on externals instead of my internal narrative.
Distraction Infects Most of Us and Affects All of Us
What happened next was surprising. Shifting my attention away from my heady chatter opened a portal to witnessing the befuddling behaviors and perspectives of the people around me:
- I counted three cars parked in the clearly-marked temporary tow-away zone.
- Two gossiping people absently yanked at their leashed dogs who were checking “pee-mail.”
- A young father impatiently dragged his kindergarten-aged son forward along a crosswalk.
I pondered the probable consequences of the behavior I was witnessing: impounded cars, cowering animals, and a boy potentially raised with aggression more than affection.
Shockingly, the people perpetrating this recklessness were unaware of the weight of their actions. It seemed that everyone was misbehaving because they were out of the moment and lost in some narrative. These adults were unintentionally creating consequences because of their self-absorption.
The scene gave me pause: How many of us are complicating our lives – and the lives of others – because of our mindsets? Stress often develops through self-created storytelling: I became quite aware that the people around me were unwittingly breaking laws or bullying others because of their short-sighted perspectives.
Stinkin’ Thinkin’
The reality is that we are all guilty of “stinkin’ thinkin’.” Even my mind tugged at me to relinquish the moment and conjure a sense of superiority, as these people were complicating their lives (as I had done the night before).
It is so easy to slant our observations and fall victim to subjective perspectives. Sometimes this is justified (if you sense danger, take action).
Still, a healthier path usually involves collecting as much possible data before springing into action. Thoughtful observation is the difference between reaction and response. Life balance pivots on knowing that our circumstances tend to right themselves if we relinquish subjectivity for objectivity.
Let Nature Take Its Course
We need to work with – not against – life’s unfolding events and trust the natural order of things. This discipline involves managing and changing perspectives both internally and externally, when necessary. When we acknowledge that we are not our thoughts, we open ourselves to participating in life with a giddy abandon that our self-consciousness egos would never allow.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.”– Sid Banks
Four Tips for Managing Distractions Through Mindful Awareness
1. Become aware of your feelings and actions. Then, trace these sensations and behaviors back to their originating thoughts. Are your thoughts objective (supported by what’s unfolding) or subjective (created by inaccurate internal storytelling)?
2. If your thoughts are inappropriate, let them go. See them as clouds that are passing by. Then, shift your focus toward realistic stances dictated by what’s actually unfolding.
3. Pay attention to your breath. Whenever you notice yourself being distracted, take a few deep breaths. Breathing will help to calm your mind and body and reengage you with the present moment.
4. Get curious. The easiest way of changing perspective is through listening: We have two ears and one mouth for a reason…
Wake Up from the Nightmare of Distraction
The answer to our struggles is far more straightforward than our minds would allow us to believe. Just as imagined monsters lose their steely grip over us once we wake from our nightmares, the way to well-being is through stopping, looking, and listening.
So, break free from managing your life with self-involved stories and strategies. Instead, collect the data and let the realities of your surroundings guide you.
Mindful Awareness is a powerful tool for managing distractions. The point is not to eliminate our unproductive thoughts but to assign them to the background so that more appropriate intentions can take center stage. This way, we can engage rather than manipulate and charm, not harm our surroundings.
Changing perspective allows for a life filled with acceptance, enjoyment, and fewer parking tickets.