How to Love Your Flaws?
Have you ever heard someone say, “I am in search of a perfectly flawed diamond?” For centuries, the diamond has been a symbol of stature, elegance, and of course love. The size of a diamond is an indicator of how valuable it is, and in turn, how valuable we are to be adorned in it. The more it sparkles, the more we admire it. The more flawless it is, the more we desire it. The more we have, the more we want…
Once we notice these flaws, is it possible to look past them? In our tireless pursuit toward perfection, can we learn to accept things and people as they are?
In today’s social media-driven society, we present our “most perfect” selves. We decide how we want to be perceived and have the option of hiding our shortcomings. And, boy, do we take advantage of this phenomenon. We continually post our best pictures, our happiest moments, our coolest adventures, and other amazing snippets from our seemingly perfect lives. Yet, the reality is that we are human and therefore, chock-full of imperfections.
You Have Flaws, I Have Flaws, We All Have Flaws
The trouble is that more often than not, people choose to focus their negative attention on other people’s flaws rather than acknowledging and working to improve their own. They become irritated by other’s perceived bad habits, undesirable personality traits, imperfections in physical appearance, poor decision-making, etc. This repetitive judgment causes anger, frustration, stress, and disdain. These symptoms lead to labeling, hating, discriminating, and stereotyping due to a lack of empathy and perspective.
The I’m-better-than-you complex that develops is actually a result of that person’s own insecurities. You know the saying; “Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.” The truth is that we all have weaknesses, inadequacies, flaws, and issues. When one focuses on another’s deficiencies, it only serves to affect their own mood negatively and ruins their own day. As we all know, we do not have the power to change anyone but ourselves.
“Don’t point out other people’s flaws because you’re not perfect! You have to look in the mirror before you can look out the window.” –livelifehappy.com
What would it be like if we accepted other’s flaws and embraced their uniquenesses? Here are some ways to shift the automatic inclination to judge others:
- Use empathy when communicating your complaints rather than demeaning or shaming others for their “quirks.”
- Practice unconditional positive regard (after all, everyone has some good qualities).
- Self-reflect as to what harboring judgments is “doing for you.”
- Lean toward understanding and acceptance (it’s good for the soul).
- Be flexible and open-minded.
- Learn to love things as they are (you’ll be much happier).
- Notice your desire to criticize and push it away.
- Try being lighthearted (let go already!).
- Relinquish judgment. Instead, spend your energy looking inward and improving yourself.
Once we learn to set aside our judgments and direct our intention toward empathy and compassion for others, we will have more fulfilling lives. If we alter our unrealistic expectations and focus on appreciating the positive things, we will reduce our anxiety.
Feelings of superiority and a desire for control are reliable indicators of a closed-minded person. It’s time to broaden your horizons and expand your capacity for true inner peace. Pay attention to yourself and be mindful of the things that make YOU happy.
“Your judging a person does not define who they are..it defines who you are.” Michael Harrison
As is the case with people, diamonds tend to be undervalued if they have too many flaws. But did you know that a flawless diamond is extremely rare and less than one-percent of the world’s diamond production?
A flawed diamond can be a good thing. A diamond’s flaws help to make them distinct and identifiable, the equivalent of human fingerprints. Flaws also ensure that the stone is authentic as most fake diamonds have a flawless appearance. Just like humans, a diamond’s flaws are what make them genuine and unique!