How to Build Companionship With Your Partner?

The Purple Heart is a medal of honor bestowed upon heroic American soldiers wounded in battle. This Valentine’s season, in the name of love (not war) I am respectfully borrowing this concept and applying it to our relationships. My intentions are hopeful and attainable: We can learn to heal our emotional injuries and reap the rewards of happiness through the practice of healthy companionship.

Attaining a more satisfying union involves recognizing, nurturing and embracing the differences in ourselves and in our partners: It is by compassionately and cooperatively combining the unique qualities we individually possess that inspires something we could never create alone: Intimacy.

Let’s call upon a creative analogy and head to the artist’s easel. A variety of colors can be created by combining different pigments together: for example, mixing red with blue together creates purple. Strong relationships are formed in a similar way. Whether friendly or intimate, “mixing it up” with another in a balanced way is vital for emotional evolution and personal growth.

Envision your relationship like paint: you are red and your companion is blue. Operating from a full-can perspective is vital to the overall product you are producing: Make sure you have enough quality red (and your partner enough quality blue) to stroke the canvas. Take an internal inventory: Do you get enough sleep? Do you exercise regularly? Are you interacting with positive friends? Are you eating well? Do you have a meaningful hobby that energizes you?

Next, contribute your color to the shared relationship with the intention of producing purple. Know that (as red) you cannot make blue (nor can blue make red) so do not get into the codependent trap of tinkering with or trying to control the other’s contribution. Instead, focus your attention on blending with your partner through equal contribution and shared experience.

Whenever you get in your head, redirect your focus: from “you” and “me,” make “we.” As the collective purple grows, glows, and gives back ten-fold, know you have created something magically healing for all involved.

Choose to become a soldier of love: contribute your unique qualities to build intimate companionship with another. Your reward will be heartfelt and full of the kind of love and respect that is truly a badge of honor to be celebrated.